The Invisible Student

Ever noticed the “Quiet Child” sitting all alone in the corner seat? The one absorbed in their own thoughts? The one hiding in the books or trying to look occupied with some work? These are our hidden gems.

In the modern era of customizations, and personalizing your things — your room, your designer clothes, your work, we proudly say “Not every size fits all”, but when our children act in a different way or want to measure their lives, their dreams by metrics we don’t understand, same philosophy fails for us. And we put in our “Experience Hats” and uncover the mantra of life with our traditional and nurtured thought process, and share the formula for success which is applicable to all. Amusing isn't it?

Most of the children get conditioned to this mantra and make great friends, get good grades, and study from great universities, but did we lose the child in the process? Well, that’s a topic for some other time. Today I would like to focus on those hidden gems who found themselves lost in the midst of all these, who were made to feel different, and often lonely. Their understanding of the world was different and was often mocked or their thoughts were paid no attention to by their parents and teachers.

So what’s happening here? When a child thinks of something out of the box, and someone ridicules it, even on a lighter note, the child starts hesitating about sharing his views. And when it happens in front of a group of people, the child may feel humiliated and stop expressing himself. This is when the rusting of the gem begins. There are various factors that may lead to this, some of them being in our control.

Factors leading to “The Invisible Child” -

1. Being mocked at School by classmates, teachers, seniors
2. Too strict or a disciplinarian teacher
3. Not getting enough attention at home
4. Curiosity not being addressed by family
5. Too much leg-pulling at home and school
6. Not being exposed to different environments, and so on

But thankfully as a parent, some of these are under our control, and some under our influence.

Factors under our control —

1. Ensuring that children get enough attention at home by spending at least one hour with them, without any mobile phones or TV.. For working parents, this may be difficult, but let’s ensure at least one parent spends an hour every alternate day. You can listen to their story, see any cues of them feeling secluded, and address them.
2. Focus on playing some family games where the child and parent or sibling can bond with each other. Try playing some outdoor games also, but focus on the fun element.
3. Going on trips, or imagining different scenarios helps the child to think beyond the box and explore different options. Listen to them and pose questions to re-direct them to the right answer, if any. But don’t say no to an answer. Guide them to follow their path.

Factors under our Influence-

1. Have a regular discussion with the child about his day. You will get the hint fastest, but give it some time or guidance to help the child navigate his own way.
2. Know his friends to understand the kind of children he loves spending time with. You don't need to be intrusive but some random chuckles here and there can be useful
3. Speak to his teacher to understand his behavior in class, you will see red flags if any.
4. His participation in various school events will give you another glimpse of his interest areas beyond academics. If you don't see any in school try identifying a few and see if he can explore them at home or some training center.

The biggest victory will be if as a society we don’t fail them. But for that, let’s take these small steps to help our stars SHINE!